As I said before, I understand the pressure you are under to get this things over and done with. It sucks. Some of the people in your age group you know have already done it, and even if they are not jackasses and making you feel bad about you not having done it yet, you still feel the pressure.

I do think that you are too young. Now, I am not going to say that you need to wait until you are married, because that’s not the day and age we live in. However, you wrote that you ‘even picked out the person’, and that doesn’t work either. I mean you are not shopping for socks at Walmart. Losing your virginity will likely suck no matter what, and approaching it like that will only make it worse and pretty much guarantee a bad experience. You say that he is experienced. Well, if he is anywhere near your age, he is probably just a punkass. He will take you up on the offer, care very little about your feelings/experience and go around bragging to his idiot friends afterwords. People will gossip, you will find out about it, and on top of your crummy experience you will feel humiliated. All this is very likely to happen, because there will be no real feelings.

The solution? Find some one you can really care about and who feels the some way about you. It’s simple as that. Well, easier said than done, but THIS IS the only way it is worth doing it. It did not work out so well form me, but I am weird and like to do things differently than other people. You sound like a sweet girl, you shouldn’t have a problem. It may take a while, though. Are you prepared to do this the right way, or are you going mess it up for yourself? It is up to you. Only you can make the choice, and the hell with everybody else.

A word about your sister: you say that she is only 21 and already has a child. This is not the day and age for that either. She is way too young for that. She should be out having fun at 21, and if she is acting her age and is out and having fun instead being a mother, then that’s just said. I can only advise you to avoid this. Do everything in your power not to get pregnant, because it will ruin your life.

Catching some nasty disease is a very real possibility too. I am not trying to scare you. This is just the way it is. A lot of these diseases will kill you. And no, you CAN’T tell if a guy is disease free or not, just because he seems like a nice guy. I have heard this a million times, and some have paid for their stupidity dearly. If you do decide to go with the guy you picked, make him wear a rubber and he if he refuses tell him to take his cherry poppin’ elsewhere. Now, if you are both in love and very much care about each other, he can get tested and there is no problem.

Honey, I sincerely hope that this works out for you.